Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
