So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
