Already got asked if we're dating
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
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