naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
He told me they were just razor bumps!
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize
