The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
i barfeds in our rink
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
