Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
