I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
