you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
