well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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