You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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