READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
