lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I cockslap morals
babies were throwing up all over the place
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
