i just wanna soil my oats bro
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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