I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
