Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Randomize
