Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
no, he came in my armpit
he shaved USA in his pubs
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
