try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Randomize
