hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
she told me i tasted like america
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
