Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
