the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
