And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
