He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
We talked him into tasing himself.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
So apparently I’m into choking now
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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