If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
