One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
