I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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