I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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