there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
