HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I checked into jail on foursquare
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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