So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Randomize
