You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
