He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
