9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
this just has baby written all over it
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
