I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
