didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
