Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
