Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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