I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
