she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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