im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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