The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize