we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
