Cold hands, warm shart.
return my video game
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
my poor anus
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
