I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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