It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
