yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize