I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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