Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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