My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
