we're blogging at a bar
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
