yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
