I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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