hotel room ftw
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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