using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
whose ass print is on the piano?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
