I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
