then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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