I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
