Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
