so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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