Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize