ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
When did angry sex become our thing?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
