Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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