question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I will be naked everywhere
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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