Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
