Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
