Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
