it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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