8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
