So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
