Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize