babies were throwing up all over the place
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
