apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
