Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
