Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize