I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
