is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
she woke up with a sticky ear
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
