I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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